Skill a Month: Better Conversations

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February's skill of the month: better conversations.  Now, I can do small talk and have good conversations with friends and all of that.  But sometimes I notice - especially with acquaintances or people I've just met - like I'm not offering up much of myself in conversations.  I'm very task-focused: give me a task, I will complete that task. So when someone asks me a question, I will sometimes answer that question without offering any additional information. Why do I do that?  Sometimes I might be afraid of saying something dumb (when people ask me "what's new?" I feel like I need to come up with some awesome response).  Or sometimes I literally might not be able to think of anything to say.  Sometimes I worry I'm talking too much about myself.  What I realized more and more throughout this month is that everything helps - it's about offering the other person something, anything, to work with. 

So here's what I did this month: 

  • Tried hard to offer a bit more about myself in conversation - this could be something I've done recently, sharing my opinion on something, anything to give the other person something to tag on to. 
  • Tried to ask more open-ended follow up questions
  • Made a conscious effort to attend more church activities to practice talking to people I may not know as well

And guess what? Many of my conversations went noticeably better.  Not to get all Brene Brown on you, but sharing more of yourself does endear other people to you.  I'm not perfect at it after this month, and certainly have more work to do, but little tweaks this month made a big difference.

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